Smarter than a fruit fly but not by much

19 Sep
September 19, 2012

So I’m continuing on my quest of personal betterment (leading to me being perfect in every way, or something) and continuing to try to be really nice to my family members and not shout at them as I often still WANT to do. But, I have found that telling myself (in a non-shouty inside my head voice) try-to-be-nice-try-to-be-nice-try-to-be-nice is pretty helpful. Also the public declaration, here on this blog, that I was undertaking a niceness campaign is keeping me on the straight and narrow. However, the niceness combined with the back to school is exhausting. I feel as though the snot has been beat out of me.

“Back to school” that is in a vague sense–they haven’t gone a full week yet and show no signs of it so every time you get some routines and mojo going they throw in another day off. Further exhausting, giving me more time with them, and EXTRA time to practice my nice.

Today I went into the bathroom after coaxing the twins into their not quite daily but more often then weekly now that they’re back in school bath to try to get them out and they were just lying in the bath which is not huge or even comfortable looking vaguely and disturbingly like those creatures from the Minority Report? The ones that know what’s going to happen to everyone? Am I thinking of the right movie? I don’t know, I can’t think straight because I’ve become beaten down by number facts, number grids, and 47 zillion spelling words even though I promised I was not going to be a homework monitor this year. I wanted to shout GET OUT on the 4, 5, and 6th time I asked them to remove themselves from the bath but I did not. Any of those times. And though I felt annoyed that they were so pokey I was happy, in theory, that I didn’t bellow and set everyone off. That is just one example. I think long-term it will be a good thing even if short term it is making my shoulders very tense.

It is showing some dividends–the eldest is behaving more nicely. And shouting less. I don’t feel like an abject failure at the end of the day for dropping one thousand swears and teaching the baby nothing but shouting is ok–now, I only feel slightly like a failure if I review the boards on Pinterest and realize that I’m not crafting or baking or doing anything that other Pinteresting moms are up to. But I’m mostly able to deal with that level of failure. In fact, today I’m able to end the day as a success because I figured out how to make a fruit fly catcher. That is, I followed the easy step-by-step Pinterest instructions.

You see, the home had become a refuge to fruit flies. Home=rental house and reason=standing water in the dishwasher that broke 3 weeks ago and that no one will fix. Someone told me to leave an inch of wine out for them which seemed a horrible waste but I was so desperate I ended up trying it and those little bastards avoided it entirely to dive bomb my REAL wine that I REALLY needed b/c of the niceness campaign (which sometimes makes the not-shouty voice in my head feel a bit more on edge since I have to keep the shouts in and thus at cocktail hour I would like some bug-free vino thank you very much). All the food was cleaned up and still it was like insanity, bug-wise, till Pinterest saved the day with a handy little idea of a funnel that the flummoxed the fruit flies 9 times out of 10, taped to a cup.

Disgusting, but satisfying. FYI on Pinterest they made it look much classier.

So now, I happily go stare at my successful fruit fly trap, and know that at least I’ve done one thing right today. I’ve saved my children from fruit flies. AND: the baby has not started to pepper her few words with swears. So there, that’s two.

And really, sometimes that’s all you need.